


Jim chooses his peeps

by kayliemalinza



Series: Rambleverse [32]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Gen, Kayliemalinza's Rambleverse, Kirk's Temporary Captaincy (Rambleverse Timeline), Sexism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-08
Updated: 2009-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-23 21:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayliemalinza/pseuds/kayliemalinza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ostensibly this is about Jim collecting his bridge crew, but really it's about that time Sulu challenged him to a duel at a kegger.</p><p>Teaser: The personnel office asks Jim to submit his choices for review and approval and he sends them six names immediately. It's a no-brainer because Jim loves his peeps. They are destined to be his loyal crew and he is destined to be their wise and competent captain. It's an endgame of awesome that makes Jim feel better about how they think he's a little nuts and should be put down for a nap sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jim chooses his peeps

**Author's Note:**

> Rambleverse!Jim's sexism is in particularly fine (read: infuriating) form in this fic. There's also a couple of ablist slurs, but nothing that isn't part of everyday language (e.g., in context the terms aren't referring to persons who are actually mentally ill.)

The personnel office asks Jim to submit his choices for review and approval and he sends them six names immediately. It's a no-brainer because Jim loves his peeps. They are destined to be his loyal crew and he is destined to be their wise and competent captain. It's an endgame of awesome that makes Jim feel better about how they think he's a little nuts and should be put down for a nap sometimes.

Actually, it's only Uhura ( _Nyota_ Uhura) who thinks this and she respects him nonetheless (and probably thinks he's hot, even though she won't admit it.) Jim doesn't really know Chekov but he's brilliant and seems appropriately star-struck by Jim's sheer balls (and, you know, there's that whole "prevented my messy demise" thing that Jim is grateful for) so that appointment should work out well. Mr. Scott is easy; Jim asks for miracles and Scotty performs them, and is fun to be around besides. What more could a captain want? Admiral Archer's blacklist aside, Jim considers himself the luckiest guy in the world that no-one else has called dibs yet.

Spock goes on the list because of the whole epic-friendship-to-be thing that Jim doesn't quite believe yet and really doesn't want to think about right now, but it's worth the try and from what Jim has heard, Spock is surprisingly easy to work with if you are not an idiot (which Jim is not) and retain a modicum of professionalism (Jim can do that, he can be cool as _ice_.)

The name he doesn't even think about justifying is Dr. Leonard H. McCoy for CMO because Bones is a known quantity. He's a blanket that Jim can wrap himself up in no matter what their respective ranks are. Jim often has difficulties with his bedcovers and once got so tangled up that he fell out of bed and sprained his wrist, so it's a pretty serviceable metaphor. Flexible. Some days Bones is made out of wool—warm enough to ward off hypothermia but also primitive ( _old-fashioned_ , he would protest) and itchy. Other days he's synth-cotton-blend, efficiently thermal and equipped with the softest, lightest touch that shows up when Bones just leans back in his desk chair and lets Jim stomp around their dorm room without saying a word. Jim has officially thought about this too much but as long as Bones doesn't know about the metaphor, it's ok. So keep this on the down-low.

Really, the only person Jim has to worry about is Sulu, who's seen Jim throw up at far too many campus parties, always beat him at beer pong, and is too polite and cheerful for Jim to get a good read on. It's not that Jim doesn't think Sulu respects him—he knows that they trust and admire each other's abilities a great deal—but he gets the uneasy feeling that Sulu thinks he could be just as awesome a captain as Jim and that is a ridiculous notion, as Sulu is far too mild-mannered. Unless he's been on the sauce.

Jim has been wary of Sulu ever since that whole thing with Alison Kipley, an engineering track cadet with very large, pretty eyes and a way of insulting boys that makes them want her to do it again (Jim doesn't pretend to understand, he just enjoys the high.) Anyway, there was this party in one of the soundproofed physics labs and Jim was about to seal the deal with Alison—he'd studied up on the laws of thermodynamics just for this purpose—when Sulu literally swooped in and started going on about some stupid navigation course that Jim hadn't gotten to yet because he'd stacked up on Command classes. Captains don't need to know all that mathy stuff, ok, they have bridge crews to do that for them.

Anyway, Jim asserted his manly prerogative to call dibs since he'd been there first but Sulu claimed he'd begun his campaign an hour before Jim even showed up. The situation escalated (Alison kept saying something about not being a prize or a piece of meat, it didn't make much sense but Jim wasn't really listening) and Sulu slapped him in the face with a glove. Jim, always a believer in direct communication, asked Sulu exactly what the fuck he was doing.

Sulu, apparently also a believer in direct communication despite being bugfuck insane, stated that he was challenging Jim to a duel for the lady's affections. Jim was totally up for a fight (especially since Sulu was much drunker than him) but at that point Alison politely asked to hold the glove and used it to beat the crap out of both of them. Then she left in a huff (Jim has never quite figured out why) and the two of them, now that the boner of contention had disappeared, merely agreed that Alison's physical methods of abuse were as enjoyable as her verbal methods and then amiably parted ways.

It really wasn't all that bad a party, especially since San Fran was in the middle of a cold snap (which was why Sulu had a glove, presumably) so Jim could explain away his rosy cheeks by saying he'd just come from outside. Not that Bones really believed him once he noticed the faint bruising on Jim's cheekbones (Alison has a good backhand), but whatever. Anyway, Jim learned a valuable lesson that night, and now always makes his exit before Sulu downs his fifth or sixth drink and gets that gleam in his eyes.

Now, if someone were to capture Jim and torture him by pulling out all of his toenails, he might grudgingly admit that he sort of suspects that Sulu is his soulmate. Bones isn't quite to the level of pulling toenails, yet, but it is extremely irritating how he keeps pointing out that Jim and Sulu have more Spacebook fan pages in common than anyone else on the ship. It's just not relevant to the discussion, ok? Any discussion. Ever.

He doubts that the personnel office would appreciate the rationale, anyway.


End file.
